How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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