WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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