My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize