There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
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You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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