I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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