I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
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I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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