i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize