She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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