cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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