So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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