look no pants
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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