needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
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he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
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The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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