I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
dude. I can hear the air.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize