No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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