i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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