Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
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