Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
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I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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