Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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