So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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