ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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