I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
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This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You did what with his pubic hair?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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