I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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