winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize