Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize