what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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