only if we run a train.
done.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize