eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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