Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize