Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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