So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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