; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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