Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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