You work out of a Hotel?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize