i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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