She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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