Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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