WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
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i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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