You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize