no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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