I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize