my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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