Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Pants 0. Shit 1.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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