I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
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We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize