Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize