Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He better not be in your backpack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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