I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize