Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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