this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize