idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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