Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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