this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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