Pappa wants mamma naked
Only a mothe r could love this liver
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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